Serena Williams lost it at the US Open last weekend. Her temper got the best of her and she reacted emotionally, inappropriately and unprofessionally.

What gets lost in the story is the calmness with which the line judge held herself.

Had the line judge yelled and threatened back to Williams, then we would have all jumped to Williams’ defense.

How people feel about footfaults being called during high-level matches would be irrelevant if the line judge had fought back. She didn’t, which was the perfect response. And that response put all the fault on Williams who, alone, will pay for her outburst. (Williams was fined $10,000, the maximum penalty allowed for unsportsmanlike conduct in tennis, not to mention the loss of an important match and the untold damage to her reputation.)

After being called on a footfault during her serve, Williams walked over to the line judge, making a threatening gesture with her racquet and reportedly told her, “If I could, I would take this **** ball and shove it down your **** throat.” It is also alleged she threatened to kill the line judge, although Williams vehemently denies it.

Read more and watch a six-minute video of the confrontation at http://bit.ly/w4mrJ

If you were the line judge, could you have kept your cool in that situation? Could you have received those comments without fighting back?

It is important to remember that when one person loses it, the other should do the complete opposite, and remain very calm.

Do not interrupt the other person. Imagine if the line judge had angrily responded, ‘Are you threatening me?’ Even though I know that type of retort would have been wrong, I can imagine myself responding that way.

An angry response would have escalated the argument to much higher levels and Williams could have charged that she had been provoked.

Let the other person have her tirade; let her finish. If appropriate, call a time-out by saying something along the lines of, ‘This is not a good time to finish this conversation. Let’s meet again this afternoon’ – then walk away. Do not continue the conversation when tempers are flaring.

The line judge didn’t respond to Williams, but instead quickly got the referee involved. The line judge kept her cool, even though she felt physically threatened, believing that Williams was threatening her life. That is the calm, cool exterior we want to achieve when we are in a confrontation.

A lot can be learned from this episode. Williams should have done things differently, and I’m certainly hoping she regrets her inability to control her temper.

Learn from the line judge, the referee and even Williams, so you can avoid being the front page news story at your office.

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I was raising a young daughter on my own and needed to supplement my income so I could buy food and clothing after all my other bills were paid. You know the story….dead beat Dad. Anyhow, I had a dear friend whose father owned a very busy and elite diner back in New Jersey and he arranged a part-time job for me despite the fact that I didn’t have experience. Other, more experienced waitresses were lined up waiting for a job at Jim’s Diner. Always busy, great tips, good place to work. I was VERY lucky to have gotten in, especially with no experience.

Gwen was the hostess; and I don’t mean the hostess with the most-est either. She basically was a very strict woman. But, as I learned over time, she had to be mean to run the diner with the precision and customer focus she utilized to keep the customers coming back time after time.

The more experienced waitresses provided basic training like where things were, what side dishes came with what entrees, how to set the tables, side work at the end of your shift, menu items, etc. I got all these items down pat pretty quickly because I was anxious to start taking tables on my own and make some money.

Gwen was the final check point as you left the kitchen with your tray of food. She would eyeball the tray and if you were serving steak, notice if you were missing something and ask where are your steak knives and steak sauce? Or if you were serving seafood, where were your lemons and tartar sauce? It was infuriating for me. It was a VERY busy diner and you often would get 3 or 4 tables at once which would make it very hard to manage with excellence. As a result, I would ALWAYS forget something and Gwen would once again get the better of me as I was leaving the kitchen. Ooooh, I got so mad at myself.

Then a light went on in my head. If I were sitting at that table in that diner and ordered seafood what would I want with it when it was served? Lemon, tartar sauce, cocktail sauce, cocktail fork, crackers, and a package of hand wipes. So, when I into the kitchen to get the salad I would load all those things I would like with seafood on a small plate and deliver that when I delivered the salad. When I carried the tray out of the kitchen Gwen would ask me where my lemons were and I would reply, “already on the table.” She would then ask me where the tartar sauce was and I would reply, “already on the table,” and so on….

Gwen only asked me a few more times before she was confident that I knew what I should be bringing to the customer and would actually bring it.

The gratification I felt for thwarting her was wonderful. Then it suddenly occurred to me that the only emotion I should be feeling is gratitude!

Gwen, strict as she was, showed me the true meaning of customer service – to anticipate what a customer wants and give it to them before they ask!

So Gwen where ever you are, Thank you. You taught me a lesson I use every day in every aspect of my life.

We had lots of time to develop the characters we morphed into when we played “office” way back then as we were always in trouble and getting grounded for weeks at a time; sequestered to the attic bedroom we shared.  You know the one without air conditioning or adequate ventilation.  To make matters worse, the walls were lined with knotty pine; a light colored wood with dark knots riddled through it in random patterns.  The biggest problem being in that room was we “saw” things in those random patterns that scared the bejesus out of us.  We had to come up with intricate games to pass the time and take our minds off of the scary details revealed to us on the walls, especially when school wasn’t in session and we had 8-12 hours of quiet time to fill.

 I had a chance to review that box of files when my parents moved out of our original home when I was in my late teens and marveled at how intricate and complex a system we had!  We cross-referenced files under the client name as well the subject of the issue, i.e., pet-related.  This way we could do research on all pet- related and/or all particular client specific issues more easily.  We came to the conclusion we needed this redundancy as we had a heck of a time trying to research all pet-related events one day.  We were pretty darn smart even back then!

Looking back on the entire role playing scenario, we had already defined ourselves as customer service/administrative professionals with a propensity to improve our processes as needed to increase our efficiencies way back then.  It certainly is true that necessity is the mother of invention.  And the need to increase efficiency has stayed with me all these years. 

As a successful executive administrative assistant, you MUST be able to increase your efficiencies to expedite the time it takes you to complete your duties so you can take on more responsibility/tasks as well as increase your worth by saving the company money.  I’ve saved money for every company I’ve ever worked for by improving processes.

It’s just that simple, especially if you want to excel!

My story goes back many years (despite the fact that I don’t want to date myself) to when my sister and I pretended our bedroom was our office. I was twelve and my sister was ten. We turned our school desk into a President’s desk one day and an assistant’s desk the next. Each time we played, we traded positions – one day I was President issuing orders and my sister was the assistant shuffling papers, filing, and answering the phones; the next day, the roles were reversed. When we were assistants we donned long hair; and since neither of us had long hair, we turned our long-sleeved shirts inside out and up over our heads and let the shirt drape down over our backs giving us the illusion (no matter how flawed) that we did, in fact, have long hair. We constantly pushed the dangling arms of the shirt from in front of our shoulders to behind our back, not unlike Cher. Laughable now, but very real for us back then!

We wrote memos about imaginary problems and suggested solutions. We collaborated about potential pitfalls the solutions might incur. We established files and made sure each document found its rightful place so we could retrieve it when necessary. When the President asked his assistant for the Ribar file (the name of one of our neighbors) whoever was the assistant that day would adeptly retrieve the Ribar file from our makeshift “file cabinet” and deliver it as requested. The President would review it quickly and discuss any “new news” with his assistant and decide how to proceed next.

We would pretend to make an appointment with Mrs. Ribar and actually role-play about how we would handle the discussion with Mrs. Ribar when she came in. We’d flip a coin to see who would be the client and who would be the President. When it came time for the actual appointment, (about 3 minutes after we flipped the coin), Mrs. Ribar would knock on our bedroom door (the office) and be seated on the edge of one of our twin beds. The President would sit in front of her on one of our office chairs and present an overview of the problem and the solution as she saw it. Of course, Mrs. Ribar would respond differently than how we role-played it just because we were sisters, competitive, and torturous of each other.

It was up to the President to take what she had to say into consideration, decide if it had merit, and either change the solution or incorporate the factors into the solution, or start all over and create a completely new solution.

When we first began our bedroom office, we didn’t have a company name nor did we know what our company did other than solve problems. Granted, they were silly neighborhood related problems, but they were problems and we were creating solutions, even if the real neighbors didn’t really know about them.

When we were in our “office” it was all very real to us. Little did we know that what we were doing was called Customer Service and that we were trading places as administrative assistant to the President.

We often retrieved the paperwork when a solution had an outcome we didn’t consider and scolded ourselves for not considering it and put corrective action in place so we wouldn’t repeat the error again. All this when we were only kids!

Little did I know at that point that we were laying the foundation for a career in solving problems and providing the best customer service we could, first time, every time!

1. Do you have good phone etiquette?  Who’s on the other end of the phone?  You never know….Answer with a smile; you can hear it in your voice!
2. Always, always be on time!  It shows your dedication, professionalism, and how you like to get a jump on things.
3. As I said before, be on time – even better – get in early.  Get the office ready for everyone else; lights/copier on, coffee made, etc.
4. Dress professionally.  People will know you are serious about your role and the positive impact you want to make on its customers.
5. Have a good, no a GREAT attitude.  This will make people want to be around you, especially your boss!  Makes the job easier too.
6. Keep your workspace neat and organized – this implies you are organized and ready to go in an instant!
7. Know your expectations/boundaries – ask if you aren’t 100% clear – this solves problems before they start.
8. Make suggestions on improvements – show your initiative on how you can save the company money – bosses LOVE to save money!
9. Suggest a monthly company newsletter – offer to spearhead it – perhaps have dept heads nominate employee of the month/criteria?
10. Offer to take courses in a skill that might make you more valuable to your boss, i.e., Publisher.  You could create marketing materials.
11. Learn to anticipate your boss’s needs.  This is a skill that takes dedication and is invaluable to a busy executive!
12. Really develop your follow-up skills.  Ask your boss if/when you should follow-up on an item and be sure to do it! 
13. Set reminders for your bosses scheduled off-site meetings to let him know when he needs to leave – he’ll really thank you for that one!
14. Check the ground rules for when you can interrupt him during a closed door session.  Define his emergency interruption criteria.
15. Get a list of people your boss wants to speak to no matter what.  Conversely, find out who he wants you to take a message from.
16. Write suggested responses to your boss’s simple business correspondence – this will save him precious time. 
17. Be well-versed in Microsoft Office – take online courses to perfect your skills.  Check out HP- it’s FREE! – http://bit.ly/EE7aA
18. Go the extra distance…when your boss rushes in for an early conference call, get him a cup of coffee or tea.  He will be very grateful!
19. Make a point NEVER to run out of ANYTHING.  Stock items like batteries for wireless mice or a “stash” of Post It Notes.
20. Always, always try to exceed expectations whether it’s for internal or external customers – it goes a long way in being recognized!
21. Never be afraid to ask if you can challenge your boss’s thinking – it might give him a different perspective on the issue.